I Take Thee As My Lawfully Wedded
by Rye-bread
Summary: Kim marries Ron, and everybody marries everybody. A tribute to all the K.P. fanfic & fanart I have enjoyed


My family took the Amtrak recently to Chicago, and from there caught a flight out of O'Hare to Palm Springs, California. The hours of looking out the window at the scenery (and intermittent napping) allowed my mind to wander. I'm genetically selected for my ability in that regard.

This crazy quilt of a tale took shape in my mind. It is a tribute to all the fan-writers and fan-artists who have portrayed the BIGGIE, the Kim-Ron wedding much better than I could, whose fic's and pic's I have so thoroughly enjoyed.

As an old Trekkie, having seen "Bread and Circuses", "Patterns of Force", and all the other alternate earth stories, this seemed like a proper thing to write.

Credits are due: K.P. & all the gang are property of Disney. The Bonnie / Ron 'shippers find artistic expression in Surforst's "A Life Well Lived" at The Drakken / Shego 'shippers are well represented by theDrakkenNShegoClub at DevArt, and even in G-Go

The Monique / Felix pairing has been suggested by WiseDuck at (& I've seen it several other places). JupMod is my inspiration for the Rori scenario.

The Kim / Glen wedding is the property of MidMaddawg2 at DevArt. Richard Leo Harte is my character, inspired by Richard Lionheart, the creation of Richard Sirois, LionheartCartoon at DevArt. I take total blame (& will gladly bear total flame) for the Kim / Rich wedding.

My characters also include Mom Load, Leo Harte, and Daphne Harte (who btw is based on Helen Sirois)

I even extend a nod toward the Kigo 'shippers, because Rinacat does the cutest K.P. artwork I've seen anywhere, and Apoptosis has written one of the most compelling fics I've read anywhere, portraying the genesis of a Kigo relationship.

There's a sizable contingent for a Kim / Drakken coupling (drakkenfan, drakkenshego, etc.), and there many other conceivable pairings, but that's another story.

But, hey, let's toss the rice, pop the cork, toast the happy couple(s), and dance 'til dawn.

ADDENDUM, August 14, 2007

My man MidMaddawg2 at DevArt has requested that the name of his char be removed or revised. I have complied. Vaya con Dios, Maddawg.

I TAKE THEE AS MY LAWFULLY WEDDED...

"I, Ronald Adrian Stoppable, take thee, Kimberly Ann Possible, as my lawfully wedded wife." Those gathered to witness the event thrilled to hear the long-awaited words. Eyes misted, lumps formed in throats, and women practically swooned. And when Kim reciprocated: "I, Kimberly Ann Possible, take thee, Ronald Adrian Stoppable, as my lawfully wedded husband," even the men sighed; and without exception the males had to repress the urge to flash the "thumbs-up" hand sign. Kim blushed and Ron half-smiled at the audible displays of admiration from their many family and friends. A cheer went up when the sacred words were finally pronounced"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

At the same time, in the Great Hall of Yamanuchi, the words were likewise heard, "I, Ronald Adrian Stoppable take thee, Yoriko Kansumi, as my lawfully wedded wife," before the presence of Sensei and the Shinto priest.

And again, in Middleton, Kim gazed in adoration at her broad shouldered soon-to-be husband as he vowed to her, "I, Glen Arthur Miller take thee, Kimberly Ann Possible, as my lawfully wedded wife."

The reader asks: it this literary license? How does one realistically account for such a contradiction in a narrative?

A physicist crippled in body but strong in mind, Dr. Stephen Hawking, wrote in the late 20 century, comparing time to a mathematical line composed of points, each point representing an event; alter an event and you cause the timeline to branch off. Scientists of the United Federation of Planets in the 23 century would develop the concept further: not only one but several possible outcomes, leading to almost innumerable alternate histories, like a tree with many branches.

Alternate realities, parallel timelines; or perhaps some silly thing like Drakken and Shego quibbling over the Tempus Simia might cause absurd revisions in history.

In different Earths, the following scenarios might ocurr: "I, Ronald Adrian Stoppable, take thee..."

"...Tara Lyn Sweetwater..."

"...Zita Miranda Consuelo Flores..."; or even...

"...Bonnie Susan Rockwaller..."

"...as my lawfully wedded wife."

Of course the opposite could also happen: "I, Joshua Bradley Mankey, take thee, Kimberly Ann..." et al.

Would Sr. Sr. Jr. ever wed his Blue Fox? Probably not.

Ron would choose Richard Harte, of Team Harte and Team Possible, as his best man, and as the bride processed down to the front of the the sanctuary, the groom would look upon her in her splendor, and whisper, "Bro--she's a vision--I'm the luckiest man alive," and Rich would nod in agreement.

Who would be Ron's other groomsmen: Felix Renton? Brick Flagg? Jim and Tim, who with the passing years would have grown out of their mischievous phase? Will Du, who with the passing years had grown less acerbic and more tolerable? Hirotaka, or another of Ron's old comrades from Yamanuchi? Ron's father Abe, to make up for the lack of a male sibling? even Ned, the long-suffering Bueno Nacho assistant manager? Anything is possible. Wade Load, without doubt, would be a shoe-in; for this wedding he would even valiantly combat his agoraphobia.

And Kim's bridesmaids: surely Monique Knowles would be the maid of honor; would the rancor be healed between Kim and Bonnie, that the one might choose the other? After all, both had even collaborated on a mission or two once upon a time. Would others from the old cheerleading squad be included; or even Richard's sister Daphne? In the early years of high school, Kim and Daphne were only less uncivil to each other than Kim and Bonnie, but they too had fought the villains together. Would Kim and Yoriko's rivalry be healed? Very likely.

Who would perform the marriage: The Possibles' pastor? The Stoppables' Rabbi? Leo Harte, Richard's father, a retired missionary and pastor? Wade's mother, Ophelia Mahalia Load, known as Mom Load, an enthusiastic preacher and choir director, and the head of an inner city mission?

Who would be among the guests? Nana, as salty and spry as ever; Slim and his daughter; and other family, without doubt. High school friends, mission allies, those whom Team Possible rescued; the list would be endless. The cards and letters from well-wishers--Steve Barkin, Betty Director, the O-Boys, Pop Pop Porter, Team Go--would be innumerable.

Would there be regrets? undoubtedly, profound regrets. At Yoriko and Ron's wedding, Kim would feel an emptiness in her heart greater than a black hole. At Kim and Josh's wedding, Ron's knuckles would turn white as he clenched his fists. Bonnie might even suffer remorse over her shallowness when Ron lost his naco royalty money. In their hearts, and the hearts of how many others would the reproach be felt like a hammer? "That could have been me. Dear God, that could have been me up there. I had the chance--and I let it go with ever really saying what was in my heart. Why? What was I thinking? How could have I been so stupid? There'll never be another person like that in my life again. I'll never get over this."

Guests would marvel at the healing power of love, for in some of those alternate realities, Drew Lipsky would have abandoned his plans for world conquest, and his grudge toward James Timothy Possible; and Shego, having likewise reformed, would have found, has Kim had earlier, that there was someone for her--"out there, in here"--the last person she would have thought. And so Dr. Lipsky, as a colleague of Dr. Possible and a specially invited guest, would appear--normally pigmented--at the wedding with his lady, Sheila Go, on his arm.

A wedding might even take place sometime in the future alternate timeline: "I, Andrew Drake Lipsky take thee, Sheila Allison Go, as my lawfully wedded wife."

Mr. Dr. Possible would find himself called upon to give more than one bride away. Lacking a real father figure in her life, Bonnie would hesitantly ask the father of her former high school rival. Still suspicious of her own family, Sheila Go would approach the associate and former college pal of her husband-to-be. And Jim Possible, having the largest heart in Middleton (and, in the latter case, wanting to make up for all the disrespect he gave Drew in college) would more than gladly consent. At the words "Who gives this woman in holy matrimony", he would smile, open his mouth, and very nearly forget his line: "Uh--'I do'." And everyone who knew him would lovingly shake their heads at this sweet, absent-minded man.

Is there false friendship? yes. In one universe, Erik Drake was never revealed as the synthrodrone boy. Kim rescued him on the Night of the Little Diablos, and together they destroyed the transmission tower; but it was a fail-safe plan of Drakken, who in a moment of diabolical inspiration programmed his creation to continue the ruse. Erik later told Kim with tears that his father was "missing, presumed dead" following the worldwide carnage caused by the Little Diablos; he was now an orphan; he was taken in to live with the Possibles, who were "taken in" by the wicked scheme. Ron had a terrible premonition, but no one would listen, any more than they listened at the Prom, and so this absurd, tragic scenario would take place: "I, Erik Bradley Drake, take thee, Kimberly Ann Possible, as my lawfully wedded wife." Was Drakken incarcerated while this folly took place? Was Drew Lipsky attending the wedding? Did it matter? He only smiled evilly to himself: "So you married a synthodrone, Kim Possible; ready to find out that you're not 'all that'?" When would he spring the trap; the wedding night, or later, to prolong his sadistic game? Poor Ron, his heart broken, his reputation ruined, had become a ninja, without home, without resource, relying only on his mystical monkey power, his Yamanuchi training, his Lotus Blade, and his burning love for Kim. He stayed in the shadows, at the very edge of Kim's world, depending on his instincts, as Sensei had taught him, to know when to intrude for the final inevitable showdown with that abomination with a human face.

In one world, Shego unburdened her heart to Kim, and Kim had to confront her own questions of gender identity and preference. She thought long and hard, agonizing over the issue. She sought her heart, and decided to follow it, defying convention How would this play out? Who would honor this union; who would resolve the conflict regarding their feelings and beliefs? Others have portrayed this scenario in word and picture better than this writer could, and he defers to them.

Still more weddings there were: Brick Walter Flagg and Bonnie Susan Rockwaller, Felix Edward Renton and Monique Zuri Knowles, and perhaps others that will be recounted elsewhere. How did all these unions fare: was it "Happily Ever After", with lots of kids; was it a victim of statistics, the 50 divorce rate? That is beyond the scope of this tale.

And in all worlds Richard Harte took the opportunity to silently renew the vow he made to Kim on the day they met: "In the Name of God the Father, and His Son Jesus Christ, by both the code of the Bushido and the code of chivalry, I pledge myself to you, oh queen of my heart, to stand at your side in battle, to serve and protect you while I am near; to hold you inviolate in my heart as my inspiration, my light, my example, while we are apart; to defend and do good to all, as befits a humble knight; to love and revere you in my heart, all the days of my life.

AS A FINAL POSTSCRIPT TO THIS STORY, let a glance be directed to Middleton during the Great Depression of the last century: "I, Jonathan Gideon Stoppable, take thee, Miriam Sophia Possible, as my lawfully wedded wife..."

Again, let the readers' gaze settle on the lives of Kim, Ron, and Rich about half a year following the Middleton H.S. Junior Prom.

Rich came contritely one day to Ron. "Bro, can I talk to you?"

"For sure."

"I need to 'fess up. On our last mission I found myself alone with Kim--I don't know how it happened--I told her to just be careful--I suddenly took her in my arms and we--kissed; I'm so sorry."

"Bro; have you talked to Kim since then?"

"No; I even caught a separate ride home; I've been avoiding her like the plague."

Ron laughed. "I need to fill you in on some family history. After the Prom, Dad Dr. P. and Pop took us both aside; it seems that Great-grandpa Jon and Great-great-aunt Mim got married, back in the 1930's, after Great-grandma died; big family secret."

"Your two ancestors? The cop and reporter? Who did missions together?"

"Yep; our dads figured it was cool, like history repeating itself, now that Kim and I were hooking up; but suddenly K.P. and I were like--'Ew--we're related?' They reminded us that we weren't blood relation, but it seemed so--sick and wrong; so we both decided to be just what we've always been--the best of friends."

"You two haven't been--dating?"

Ron grinned. "Dude; where's your head at? Kim's been crushing on you for weeks--she's a mess. She looks worse than I did when she was dating Erik."

With his conscience set free, Rich experienced a double joy. The queen of his heart became the love of his life. In this world, Rich, instead of Ron, had fought Erik to a standstill on the Night of the Diablos, while Kim and Ron faced Shego and Drakken.

As befits a knight, he sought for permission to court Kim from Dad Dr. P. He then sought out Kim; after school, after cheerleading practice, after studying at the library, as she morosely walked home alone. Suddenly he stood before her; she trembled with both anticipation and dread. He knelt, and from behind his back, he presented her with a Valentine card and a single long-stemmed red rose. Puzzled, she opened the card, which simply said, "Will you be mine?" "Yes!" she squealed as she leapt into his arms, knocking them both over.

She wore the rose in her hair, as she had done on the "Undercover Mission", when she and Rich had waltzed until dawn, attired in their formal clothing.

Richard Harte, known among the ninjas of Yanamuchi and the agents of Global Justice as the Lionheart, became the Coeur de Lion, fulfilling the vow he made in the name of his mother, who died of exposure to a terrorist nerve gas attack. He became a hero of last resort, rescuing those whose plight reached the ears of the Creator alone, to Whom all desperate prayers are addressed; the political hostages of the terrorists, the victims of genocide, the slaves and the abductees of the international sex and drug trade, and such hopeless as the one gifted and inspired man--and his beloved consort--were able to aid.

And before his father and pastor, with his best man whom he called "Bro", he pronounced the sacred words: "I, Richard Leo Harte take thee, Kimberly Ann Possible,as my lawfully wedded wife, to love, honor, and protect, to cherish,for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, leaving all others, cleave only to thee for as long as we both shall live."


End file.
